- Anonymous
There are two types of people in this world. First are the ones who fall in love at the first sight and move into a relationship at the speed of a jet. Then there are the second type who take forever to move from one step to the next. There is a chance that your guy could be type two. Within type two, there are again two types – the ones who are straight forward about their feelings and will easily confess when they are ready, and others who overthink about what the other person might be thinking and wait for the other person to confess first. If your guy is the second type, it might be important for him to get a clear signal that you are ready to move to step two in your relationship. If he’s more like type one, you might want to give him some more time. This is always the trickiest part of a relationship – if you step in too quickly, he might be intimidated; but if you wait for too long, he might dwindle away.
I realized about a month ago that a lot of the things I used to do together with my friend were stupid. I haven’t really hung out with him and now he’s all mad because I don’t see him. And he’s turning into a blabbermouth. What should I do?
- Sujan
What if you went to him and said exactly how you feel that you have done things together with him that you’re not really proud of and thus feel the need to take some time alone to step back and reflect over your actions? I think you have matured to a point where you are realizing and reflecting upon your previous actions. But you can’t overlook the fact that knowingly or unknowingly you validated or drove your friend towards those moments of stupidity. What if you acknowledged your share and cleared out your friend’s confusion and frustration over losing you? Maybe all he wants is a proper farewell?
He is always smiling at me, winking, and whenever I look at him, he’s looking at me and we make eye contact. I asked him whom he liked and he said he would rather have that conversation in person. I’m scared and excited. What’s going to happen?
- Enthu Girl
I am excited for you too!!! In fact, the most exciting moment in life is the moment of anticipation – of not knowing what waits, of hoping that it might just be what you’ve been dreaming about. Enjoy your moment of anticipation. Soon, he will have said what he wants to say. The curtains will fall, the suspense will be over. Who knows what he will say, what will or will not happen – don’t build any expectations around it. No matter what he says or doesn’t, this moment of excitement is yours – love this moment.
I’m 18 and my friend’s actions in class confuse me. He implies sometimes that he could be gay but he flirts with girls all the time. If he is gay, I want to be there for him. How do I put through this message?
- Ajay
If he says he “could” be gay, then he is obviously in the “could” zone. It is possible that he is taking time to be sure about his own sexuality – for some people, it does take time to clear out confusions. If you feel safe sharing your feelings with him, you should go ahead with a cautious expectation that he might not reciprocate the same feelings to you. You can let him know that you understand that he could still be figuring things out and that you are there for him. But having said that, you might want to be a little cautious about people who are still in the “could” zone.
Swastika Shrestha is the founder of Anuvuti, a social enterprise that engages young people in service-learning. She’s been coaching and mentoring young people in different capacities for over a decade.
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